The Elephant in the Room: The Weight We Carry
Rooted & Rising: A Mental Health Series for Women – Part 1. Move on to Part 2: The Butterfly Effect: Understanding Generational Trauma .
There’s a kind of heaviness many women carry that has no diagnosis. It isn’t always obvious, but it’s present in the way we over-performed, over-apologize, and overextend. It’s called emotional labor. That unspoken work of holding families, teams, and communities together, often at the expense of our own wellness.
In many cultures, especially among Black and Brown women, being 'strong' is not just praised, this is often expected. Strength becomes survival; softness becomes a luxury few feel safe enough to claim. This unrelenting expectation to be everything for everyone else can leave little room for rest, vulnerability, or authenticity.
A quiet moment of collapse. Emotional labor often builds in silence until it becomes too heavy to carry alone.
The 'Strong Woman' Myth
Psychologist Dr. Thema Bryant notes that strength, while admirable, becomes harmful when it replaces permission to feel. Women often internalize the belief that asking for help is weakness. We’re taught to 'keep it together,' even when it’s costing us our sleep, our joy, and our peace.
Healing begins with permission. The permission to say: I’m tired. I need help. I deserve to rest without earning it through pain.
Pause and Reflect
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself: What expectations have I internalized about being 'strong'? Where did they come from? Do they still serve me today?
A Deep Breath. A brief pause. A reminder that rest does not need to be earned.
Words to Hold Onto
You don’t have to hold it all together to be worthy of love or rest. Let your strength include softness. Let your rest be radical. You are allowed to be seen in your full humanity—not just in your resilience.
Call to Action
Reflect or journal: What expectations about strength have you internalized? How have they shaped your daily life, relationships, or self-worth? Consider releasing one expectation today—even silently.
Helpful References
- Dr. Thema Bryant (2023). Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole Authentic Self.
- Hochschild, A. R. (1983). The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling.
Resources
- https://drthemabryant.com
- https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Identity-and-Cultural-Dimensions/Women
You Don’t Have to Carry the Weight Alone
Looking to lighten the load?
Download the free Trauma-Informed Self-Care Guide. It was created to accompany the Rooted & Rising Women’s Mental Health series and help you reconnect with your body, voice, and healing path.
At My Journey Compass Health, we offer a safe space to talk about the emotional weight holding you under for far too long. If you are ready to feel a little lighter, more grounded, and supported, I am here to walk you through.
Schedule your free consultation below or navigate to our home page to learn more.